Tired

Tired.

Sleepy.

Eyes right!

Eyes right! What do you see? Yeah! Your eyes are being honest. It's true that I've written so many words and recorded so many happy things these days. As you can see, they're by no means big things -- they're just small, tiny things which you may think can be ignored. But don't forget that every little counts. Once they accumulate to some level, the desired big happiness will fall automatically. Don't you think so?

Active Happiness

Since life is worth recording, happiness is also worth recording. As the title of this essay suggests, I'm going to obtain "active happiness". This may be the first time that you've heard of this expression. For me, it's also the first time. It suddenly occurred to me several hours ago that I should try to be happy more actively, and then I got the name of "active happiness". This means I have to do something in order to be actively happy. So I've decided to open up a new column called My Happy Log which is designed to record happiness -- happy moments, happy memories, happy stories, happy dreams, happy thoughts ... -- all happy things -- no matter how big they are. I'm sure this will work for me. Just wait and see what'll happen to me in the following weeks:)

P.S. Provided that you are interested, click on the following link (I'm just doing what it has guided me to do) :

http://www.mifengtd.cn/articles/seek-a-happy-story-today-activity.html

Belong

After reading my friend Ernest's latest blog, I come to consider the same question: where do I belong? Maybe you'll suppose that I belong to a certain group, a certain organization, a certain class, a certain school or even a certain society. However, I don't think so. My answer to the question is:

I belong to myself.

So, no matter who you are, you have no privilege to rob me of my happiness.

I've made the second step.

"Hey, Koala, I'm gonna play basketball with Vincent after class this afternoon, will you join us?" Clive asked. "OK!" I answered without the slightest hesitation. But soon after I accepted his invitation, I began to worry: would I be qualified for a good team member? After all, I almost had no foundation of playing basketball, though I was 1.86m in height. And now I was about to face my first university 3-on-3 game. I was a little bit timid and even scared. In my mind, basketball was a sport of a little bit rudeness. Chances are that I was going to encounter some rude ones. But since I'd been dreaming of changing and developing myself and being a good basketball player, I was determined to have a try.

...

As I had got no proper sports wear, Clive offered to lend me his sports vest and Vincent his sports shorts. You know what? I was dressed as if I was a professional basketball player! To be frank, never had I been dressed so "professionally"!

...

"Can we join you?" Vincent asked. "All of you are so tall!" "But he's not good at it." Vincent said, pointing at me. "Yes, I'm only a beginner." I said. "OK." There're 9 persons in all that could precisely divided into 3 groups. Vincent and I were in the same group. As the game went on, I gradually got into shape. But it was quite evident that I was a faked "professional" player. I'd got no talent for playing basketball! I made countless attempts to shoot, but in vain. I made countless attempts to defend, but still in vain. I was even knocked down. In a word, I was totally inexperienced. I'd got no idea how to shoot and defend effectively and efficiently. To my relief, I eventually made several successful shots, though all by chance....

"When I was a beginner, I was like you." Clive said, "But what was different was that I started from practicing shooting. As long as I had a chance, I would shoot." Step by step, I was sure that I would realize my dream. Don't you think so?

It finally proved to be a right choice. I successfully challenged myself. I successfully made the second step. What about a step further?

Mood

The mood is like the unpredictable cloud and the mysterious wind. You can never know where it goes. Nor can you find its trace.

Maybe I'm just being too sensitive. It seems that I'm not yet a completely independent one. My mood never belongs to my own. Every time I see something, hear of something or just think of something, chances are that my mood will start to change. I've got no idea in which direction it is going. What's more, a matter of very tiny importance will put me in a bad mood. I don't know what's wrong with me. I find myself a man of moods and sometimes of sentimentality. That's not what I would like to be.

Then what would you like to be? Well, my goal is to form an independent personality, to be in control of my own mood and protect it from being affected by any negative factors. I know it's hard, but I'll try. As a matter of fact, seeing from another angle, I shouldn't have been so sensitive. Sometimes, how you feel utterly depends on how much emphasis you put. If you put too much emphasis on something or somebody, you are finding troubles your own. I'm just an example. Therefore, if I try to think little, I'll definitely feel at ease.

I've made the first step.

Several days ago, I was still wondering whether I would be able to qualify for the character "Prince" in the English play Mulan Joined the Army. Today, I got the answer. It's "yes"! I have the ability! It proved to be a successful play. Our English teacher was quite satisfied with our play and spoke highly of our performance. She said, "You all have a gift for acting." Needless to say, I was fairly delighted to hear that. You need to know that we've spent lots of time and energy preparing for the presentation. For me, it's no easy thing, as I was chosen to be the group leader. I searched the Internet for an idea and eventually I found the script of Mulan Joined the Army and the corresponding video as well, which made me fairly surprised. I watched the video and could not help but to laugh. Finally, I was determined to act it out. I adapted the original script referring to the video, allocated roles, made a couple of "crown"s, recorded a couple of audio clips, made the PPT, organized several rehearsals... Tired as I was, I was willing to. To my relief, my group members were all for the play. I couldn't imagine what the situation would be like without their support.

You also need to know that it took me quite a long time to take heart of grace to act it out. In the past, it was definitely impossible for me to act so naturally, heart and soul. I still remember those times when I was on the platform, rather ashamed and embarrassed. I used to assume that I was not qualified for acting, but it has been proved that I was wrong. As long as you unlock your inner potential, you'll find that not everything is so difficult as you thought. As long as you're willing to try, you will succeed. I'm just an example.

I've made the first step. What about a step further?

It's time for me to challenge myself!

Come on! I CAN!

A New Journey

I'm trying my best to start a new journey.

The Changeable Weather

I hate the changeable weather. Last minute, the sun was still shining. But soon it started to rain. How can I make it sunny all the time?!

I love 303!!

I've racked my brains for words that can describe my current feelings, but in vain. I just have no idea how I can express my special affection. For what or for whom? For 303 -- Room 303.
My roommates are so kind and warmhearted that I've always been rejoicing that I was lucky enough to have been arranged here. Therefore, I'm willing to give and share. It's already part of my life.

A Major Fall In My Physical Ability

Recently, I've experienced a major fall in my physical ability. If you are careful enough, you can also draw the same conclusion via analyzing the data shown in the right column. There're too many reds and oranges which I'm just not willing to see and let you see. For some reasons, I haven't experienced a green for long. That's a little bit frustrating. I have to do something to change the current situation.
Anyway, I won't give up jogging.

High

Finally, my day dropped. I felt fairly high today. I just couldn't describe how excited I was.
4:15 P.M. I was ready to go to the school playground with one of my roommates to do some jogging. Before we reached the playground, we went to the sands and practiced some pull-ups first. After practicing for a period of time, I felt as if I had more strength than before. That's really good news for me. But it's still far from satisfactory. That is to say, I had to continue practicing before I could be successful. Anyway, I wouldn't give up. Several moments later, I was jogging on the track when I met a foreign student who was just by my side. I was on the point of saying something to him when I checked myself. I was too timid. But to my surprise, he's more active."(You are) a good runner!" he turned to me and said. "You too!" I responded. Then we started to jog and chat together. "You do jogging every day?" "Yes!" "How long have you been to China?" "I came to China last September." "Do you like the weather here in Shanghai?" "It's much better here than in Beijing. It's rather cold in Beijing." "Do you like the food here?" "At first, I was not used to it. But now, I like it!" "Then what do you think of this university?" "The courses here are excellent! ..." Because I was not a talkative one, we didn't chat much. I felt that my English level was still too low. Nor could I express myself freely nor understand what he said utterly. But after all, I had a nice time with him. "Oh, my friend, I'm leaving now." I said, ready to leave. "Hey, come here!" he waved his hands and asked, "What's your name?" "My English name?" "Yeah!" "My English name's a little bit funny." "Just speak it out. I don't mind." "It's Koala. K-O-A-L-A." "Then What's your Chinese name?"... "It's nice meeting you. See you next time!" I said. We shook hands and said goodbye to each other. After that, I went to the shop to pick a new basketball for myself. Sounds interesting? Do you know what I'm going to do? Just make a wild guess! Haha..
6:15 P.M. I had just finished my supper and went to the second floor of the canteen ready to watch the coming table tennis game. The game was wonderful, but watching the game was not enough. Playing myself was what I really felt like doing! At this point, one of my classmates invited me to play with her. It's cool! After playing for some time, I was asked to play with another one. It's OK for me. We played and played, and both of us had a fairly good time. I hadn't played table tennis for long. Repicking up the bat made me excited or high. I sweated like a pig. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the feeling of sweating! I enjoyed doing sports!
It's an excellent day today!

Affection

Thursday was anything but a usual day -- one day I'll treasure up forever. I'm not referring to the bad luck coming down on me. I'm referring to AFFECTION. You may wonder: what do you mean by saying so? You mean you have an affection for something? No. It's not "something". It should be "somebody".
"Koala Choi, .." he fixed his eyes on me, said continually, "I have a request.." "Never mind. Just speak it out." I said. He hesitated for a moment and said, "My working time is different from that of my roommates. I usually go to sleep early, but they don't. As a result, I can hardly fall asleep. So.. if you're willing, can we exchange our rooms?" I didn't think too much. There's no doubt that our room is much quieter than theirs at night. And settling into a new better environment will certainly be helpful to his sleep. "OK, no problem!" I promised. "Thank you! Thank you!"
...
"How could you make that decision?!" one of my roommates said after he left, "You're always considering others instead of yourself. Your sleep is no good! Your working time's different from theirs, too!" "Nothing. No matter where I stay, it'll always take quite a long period of time for me to fall asleep." I said. "After all, we've been together for more than half a year. We have a deep affection! We hate to part with you!" At the hearing of the word "affection", I was deeply moved. And at the same time, I was lost in thought. I didn't expect he would say so. Otherwise, I wouldn't be so thoughtless. I was always spending most of my time and energy on myself. It was evident that I'd missed something. What he said was absolutely right. We'd been in the same place for such a long period of time. Although it might not be easy to perceive, we DID have very deep affection.
Finally, I stayed where I was. After all, exchanging rooms was not my own business. I also had to and ought to consider the feelings of my other three roommates. As they're strongly against the exchange, I was determined to break my initial promise. To my relief, he didn't blame me. On the contrary, he understood me well. Thank God!
"We have a deep affection! We hate to part with you!" -- I just cannot forget the words. The aftersound was lingering around my ears. I suddenly had a sense of belonging and happiness. I belonged to Room 303, a place where what I'd been seeking was just at my side. Yes, it's true friendship. You may also call it AFFECTION.

A Really Bad Day

It's a really bad day today! I'm just too anxious to write this essay to relieve myself. Otherwise, chances are that I'll break down. You may wonder what on earth happened. Let me tell you about everything.
10:00 A.M. I was in my dormitory room ready to go to attend the P.E. lesson at 10:05AM. Suddenly my cell phone rang. "Wait for me! I'll be back soon." "OK. I'll be here waiting for you." I answered. I waited and waited, but he didn't appear as expected. But what could I do? I could do nothing but to stand where I were waiting for him, though I knew I would definitely be late for the class. I glimpsed at the clock and it said 10:30AM when he was eventually back. "Shall we go?" "OK." I answered, knowing for sure what would happen to me. I was right. I was criticized by the teacher. "Watch! What time is it now?!" he questioned. I had no answer. I did be late, but was that really my fault?
12:00 A.M. I was gonna have my lunch when I knocked into two of my acquaintances. I said hello to them, but they just made no response. I didn't know whether they ignored or just neglected me. Was my voice too low?
7:30 P.M. I was in the school playground doing my daily jogging. When it's the 4th lap, I noticed one of my shoes loosened. This was not the first time that this kind of "accidents" had happened. I had no alternative but to stop, though I was not willing to. I took off my coat passingly and placed it on the railing nearby. I started again. But you know what? Before the 5th lap was finished, I had to stop again, for the bottom of my left foot hurt badly. What was worse, my coat on the railing was blown down to the wet ground, which made me rather rather angry. I then left the playground and went to practice pull-ups. Still, I placed my wet coat on the parellel bars and was ready to exercise. But before I could accomplish a single pull-up, my coat was again blown down -- to the sands instead. Oh, my god! What on earth had I done wrong?

A Standard 10000M Without A Single Pause

Wow!! It's another standard 10000M! But this time, unlike that of yesterday, I finished it without a single pause! I'm just too anxious to write this essay to share with you this exciting news! Please allow me to "show off", though I'm a fairly modest one. Haha..
This time, I was wearing my new pair of New Balance shoes which was specially designed for jogging while on the track. I was feeling perfect. Actually, I felt as if I had much more power than before. Was I being a superman? Maybe! Haha..
I like jogging! I love jogging! I enjoy jogging! Wanna be healthier? Wanna be happier? Wanna be more confident? Wanna have a sense of achievement? Here's the shortcut -- just don't hesitate to start jogging! You know what? Every time you are doing jogging, you are actively changing your life.

Happy to see you happy.

Dear Ernest & Chanel,
I'm just too glad and relieved to see you happy! In most cases, when I visited your blog, it would more or less indicate that you were unhappy, whether for this reason or for that reason. But this time, it's different. Both of you reported that you were happy (or a little bit "high"). That's really good news. A coincidence? Maybe. But from my perspective, you'd already found true happiness. It's cool and exciting!
What I would love to say is that Mr. Happiness is everywhere in our daily life, as long as we're able to find him. So, just enjoy it, treasure it and keep it!
Hope to see an energetic you every day from now on!
Yours,
Koala

A Standard 10000M

Yesterday afternoon, I ran 25 laps and finished a standard 10000M in 55:36(approx.) (as you can see in the right column) in the school playground, which has a standard track of 400M. But what was a pity was that I stopped once to tie one of my shoes in the 18th lap. Nevertheless, my self-confidence was again beefed up. Anyway, I'm taking pride in myself.

May everything go smoothly with Vincent.

Dear Vincent,
I know you're a fairly hard-working guy. Actually, this is one of the reasons why I would love to make friends with you. Now, challenges are standing there waiting for you. Do you have the courage to shoulder the pressure? I'm sure you do. Do you have the faith to win the battle? I'm sure you do. Do you have the confidence to conquer yourself? I'm sure you do.
Come on! I trust you! I'm sure you can! May everything go smoothly with you!
Yours,
Koala

When you feel frustrated...

I'm a rather sensitive guy. So it's no wonder that I'm feeling frustrated from time to time. These are the two key points I've discovered to conquering frustration.
When you feel frustrated...
No.1: Think about your lovely dear parents who are always at your back. Think about your lovely dear home which is always there for you, safe, warm and peaceful. Via this way, you'll have a sense of belonging which is very very important. Thus, you won't feel lonely and helpless any longer.
No.2: Think about your dreams and goals. Whether short-term or long-term, they will give you the right direction and the unlimited power -- the driving force -- to overcome any obstacles and hardships on your road to success, including frustration. You'll get to know that frustration is temporary while happiness should be permanent.
Hope they'll be helpful to you in some aspects.

Unexpected

I didn't expect a 16:37 today, as you can see on the right, which is labeled orange. Perhaps the pair of shoes I wore today was too heavy, which was just improper for jogging. Or perhaps the belt was improperly tightened. In a word, I felt rather rather uncomfortable while jogging. So eventually, I had to stop. A little bit frustrated, but anyway, I won't give up.

The Annoying Rain

As you can see in My Jogging Log in the right column, there are numerous "rain"s on the list. I'm not finding an excuse when I added a "rain" to the list. It did rain and chances are that there will still be a couple of rainy days. What's God doing? He must be crazy!
The rain was rather rather rather annoying. The direct consequence was that my daily jogging schedule was completely disrupted. I was again driven mad. Doing jogging on a daily basis is one of the few things that I can insist on. Is Mr. Rain going to remove "jogging" from the list? No! Don't imagine that he has the ability. I'm abler than he is. But what should I do if I want to beat him? Well, I think I have to find an alternative as soon as possible so that I will not stop in those annoying rainy days, for I'm a sports lover and I don't wanna be a couch potato! But.. what's that "alternative"? I suppose it's swimming. I love swimming just as much as jogging, though I'm only a beginner. However, I have to pay for it, for swimming is not free. I have to pay at least RMB 10-15 each time. That's no small number. After all, I'm not a son of a millionaire. But I just cannot find a better choice. I desire sports! I love sports! Doing daily sports gives me happiness and health. As a matter of fact, sports has already become part of my daily life. It's easy for me to feel good while and after doing sports. On the contrary, if I don't do daily sports, I'm likely to feel bad. For me, sports serves as a natural emotional activator. So, investment on sports is sure to be worthwhile, isn't it?

I have a jogging companion.

I used to do jogging alone, and I've already got used to it. I might feel a little bit lonely sometimes, but it's still enjoyable anyway.
Now I'm lucky enough to find a companion who loves doing jogging just as I do. He's my good friend, Vincent, a very good jogger. We ran around the 4th teaching building and the school library, about 3.5 min a lap on average. Once we ran 18 laps in 1:05:36, as you can see in My Jogging Log in the right column. It's cool! From my own perspective, Vincent has to suffer more pains than I do while jogging, for he's heavier and bigger. But he just doesn't think so. He's such a persevering guy whom I admire a lot.
I will persevere, he will persevere and we will persevere.

The quicker, the earlier, the better.

I'm always being too slow. Perhaps it's because of the tricks played on me by Mr. Neurasthenic or Mr. Depression. But anyway, I have to do something.
There has always been an anonymous force from my inner body which urges me to make a complete change of my life. Is that the so-called "driving force"? Maybe. As you can see, the essay Change Myself is just the product of him. And this time, what does he urge me to do? He urges me to be quicker, quicker and quicker! He's absolutely right. If I can be quicker, then everything in my life will start to change. I still remember those days when I was too lazy to do everything and would not accomplish my assignments until the deadline dropped. I paid for my laziness and slowness. I suffered great pains sitting up late trying to finish my homework the day before school started. It's unforgettable. But did I really like doing so? No! I hated the feeling of being at a loss what to do!
Needless to say, I have to draw a lesson from that. I must do everything before it's too late. But what's the first step? It's being quicker. If I can be quicker, then I won't be late again. The feeling of being earlier is good, isn't it?

A Nice Meet

This Wednesday, I had a nice meet with one of my former senior high school classmates. He's also one of my former deskmates, who's a very very interesting guy. Although he's 20, he speaks and acts as if he's only 12.
I still remember those days when we were deskmates. He was rather annoying at that time. In fact, one of his biggest interests is annoying me. He hurriedly turned to me for help when he was asked by the teacher to read his answers aloud; he secretly glimpsed at my paper and copied my answers when we were taking a test; he purposely pretended that everything's being OK when he'd done something bad to my books.
...
Nevertheless, he's an interesting and generous one. And it's been ages since we last met. I didn't expect that he would call me and I even mistook his voice for someone else's at first hearing. At his proposal, we met at Wu Jiao Chang this Wednestday night. We had a happy meal chat at a restaurant; we had a happy singing at Superstar; we had a happy time at Tom's World; we had a happy ending at Mcdonald's; and we had a happy chat all the way. It's really cool, exciting and unforgettable! It might be the happiest time in my life!
Everyone would love to make friends with Mr. Happiness. Actually, Mr. Happiness is everywhere in our life. Have you found him?

Change Myself

I suddenly remember Leehom Wang's famous album Change Myself. There's no need for me to repeat that I'm being frustrated and helpless now. But the key is: what should I do? As you can see from my previous essays, I've been using the strategy -- to "let it be". But.. is it really the best solution? My opinion on this question may vary from time to time. But at present, I don't think it to be the best method. Instead, I need some changes, though I hate changes. There's no denying that nobody's personality is perfect. There are more or less some shortcomings. For me, it's more evident. It seems that I'm always living "around a circle". If I do not actively use force, my life track will never change. It will be a "circle" forever. But is that the life style I really want? No! Absolutely NOT!! If I can be more active, my life may be completely transformed. That is to say, if I can make a breakthrough, the current "circle" will no longer exist.
Therefore, if I want to be myself, I have to change the current "myself" first. So, Koala Choi, don't be so down! Be high instead!! Come on!

I love nighttime.

I've already forgotten since when have I got this addiction. How I wish it could always be nighttime, though I know it's impossible! I don't know why I love nighttime so much. In the nighttime, It's easy for me to feel good whether I choose to take a walk or to do jogging. I enjoy the peacefulness. I enjoy being myself.

Losing Appetite

As the title indicates, I've lost my appetite recently. Is there anything wrong with my stomach? No, my stomach's OK. Am I having a temperature? No, my temperature's OK. Then, what's wrong? Mr. Depression came again? You are right. As a matter of fact, this is not the first time that this kind of situation has happened. But I'm just too astonished to find that it will replay when I'm 20. If I were 12 now, then it wouldn't be surprising. But I'm 20 now! How could it happen again?!
I tried to find the answer, and finally I got it. The answer is: perhaps I just have a special affection for being home. I love my home too much. Nobody else can understand it.

A Deep Breath

Take a deep breath, and you'll find yourself lost in such pleasant weather. I hear the step of Miss Spring coming nearer and nearer. Yes, the lovely season is coming. All kinds of creatures are coming back to life. What they see is another brand-new year. For me, it's just another brand-new start. What I have to do is to take hold of the opportunity, for the key of the whole year lies in spring, doesn't it?
I just cannot wait to take another deep breath. Wow! It's so fascinating! The air smells a little bit like that in hot summers. I love it, though I don't know why. Maybe it's just because of the soaring of the temperature these days. Haha..
And the new semester is within my sight. What shall I do? I think there's no need for me to repeat it. Come on! I can!!

I almost cried.

Never has it been such a long difficult journey. Never have I run in such strong wind. I almost cried! Was God testing me? I don't know. Nevertheless, I made it eventually. Wow!! And now, I'm just taking pride in myself. Haha..
I know I still have a long way to go. But anyway, I will persevere.

Another "Wow" Day

It's another "Wow" today! I've run for several times, but how long on earth did I run each time? According to Google Map, which is really a powerful tool, a lap in my case adds up to about 400 meters, equivalent to a circle of a standard track. What a coincidence!
Today I ran 25 laps in an hour (To be exact, it's 59:59! Is that amazing?!). That is to say, I ran 10000M! Wow!! That's cool!
In one word, doing jogging on a daily basis makes me feel good! Wanna have a try? Start right now! You won't be regretful!

Deeply Moved By Forrest Gump

I haven't seen many movies, but Forrest Gump, which I have just finished, is no doubt the best one. It's such a classic that everyone is going to be moved, and I'm just no exception. To tell the truth, I was almost moved to tears.
There are lots of classic quotes, such as "Life is a box of chocolate. You never know what you're gonna get." But what I learned most from the movie is the quote "Put the past behind you before you can move on." From my own perspective, for anyone who can really follow this quote, his life is sure to be completely transformed.

Sharing: 8 Essential Strategies To Saying “No”

Everyone may have experienced this situation: One day, Student A turned to Student B for some help. "Could you please do me a favor, my friend?" But for some reasons, Student B was unable or reluctant to offer his hand. What should he do? How should he say "No"?
Check it out via clicking the following link provided that you're interested:
http://freelanceswitch.com/freelancing-essentials/8-essential-strategies-to-saying-no/

I'm seeking...

I'm always being trapped by some unsolved psychological problems. Sometimes it's really annoying. And this is not the first time that I've almost been driven mad.
But if you ask me why I seem to be always suffering such kind of pains, what I can say is just "I don't know." To be frank, it's not a simple question. The answer may be quite complicated. Maybe I was born with such personality or something.

I'm lovin' it!

This morning, I received the book I bought on dangdang.com the day before yesterday. Right is the cover of the book. As you can see, it's entitled C++ Primer. Can you guess what the book is about? You are right. It's a book about C++ computer programming. And if you are careful enough, you can see from the picture that this book is the original English edition! Am I kind of crazy? Haha.. It may be quite difficult for me to read, but I believe that it can also serve as a powerful tool for me to learn and improve my English.

Anyway, I'm lovin' it!

Wow!!

Attracted by this title? Please note that this "Wow" does not refer to World Of Warcraft (Actually, I'm not playing any online games!)! This "Wow" is a real interjection which came out from my mouth after a 1-hour jogging. A 1-hour jogging? Are you cheating? Absolutely not! I ran for a solid hour without a single pause! Sounds unbelievable? But it's true! Several hours ago, I was still wondering whether or not I would be able to create a new record (See Insomnia.), but now I've made it.
What about tomorrow? Will it be another "Wow"? Just wait and see!

Sharing: How To Become An Early Riser

Perhaps 9 out of 10 will find it rather difficult to get up early, including me. How can we all become early risers?
Check it out via clicking the following link provided that you're interested:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2005/05/how-to-become-an-early-riser/

My anxiety level is increasing.

As the new semester is approaching, my anxiety level is also increasing. I don't know whether my friends have got the same feeling. For me, I've got used to it. As a matter of fact, I've been suffering from such sort of anxiety since my childhood time.
What should I do? What can I do? Maybe the best solution is just to let it be.

Insomnia

Oh, my god! I haven't enjoyed a good night's sleep for quite a few days! I'm on the edge of being driven mad! What's wrong?
Still remember my last essay which is entitled X=46? To be frank, I wonder whether or not I'll be able to break this record in the following days. Without a good rest and enough energy, how can I expect a new breakthrough?
Actually, Mr. Insomnia seems to be much interested to play with me these days, though I'm not willing to be his friend. Last night, I was awoken by Mr. Insomnia for at least 3-4 times! What a nightmare! When the clock said 8 o'clock, I was again awoken. But this time, it's Dad. "You have to adjust your biological clock, for the new term is coming." OK, I have no alternative but to get up at once, though I was feeling dizzy.
Mr. Insomnia, can you stay away from me? I don't feel like playing with you any longer!

X=46

Still remember My First 40 min+? If so, then it won't be hard for you to get the meaning of "X=46". Haha..
Speed up! I can!!

My First 40 min+

It's the first time that I have run for 40 min+. A little bit challenging, but I managed it.
Tomorrow will be an X for me. X=? 45? 50? 60? I don't know. But I will persevere. Come on!!

Saying Goodbye To Xiaonei And QQ

I've been using Xiaonei and QQ for quite a long period of time, but now I'm here saying goodbye to them. As is known to all, the former one provides fast and convenient SNS service, while the latter one is widely accepted as an excellent IM software. Both are quite popular, especially with us young students. They serve as powerful tools which have created shortcuts for communication between people.
However, I do have wasted too much time and energy on them and I'm just too anxious to ask for a change -- a complete change. So, from this moment on, you will not find me either on Xiaonei or on QQ, but you can still find me here on Blogger.
Am I right this time? I think so.

Untitled

Be cautious whenever you make a decision.

Enjoy the feeling of sweating!

Haven't done aerobics for quite a long period of time. Just now I retried it. It's really exciting and fun! I'm just too excited to enjoy the feeling of sweating!
Interested? Try it right now!

Happy New Year!!

A new year, a new start.
Come on, 2009!!

Really enjoy having a cold bath.

Reexperienced the feeling of having a cold bath. So cool and enjoyable! Definitely keep doing it!

Sense Of Achievement

"It's so cool!!" -- This is my friend's comment.
Recently, I've successfully written a VB program for one of my best friends. It's a small program whose function is sorting randomly. When the project was finished, I felt fairly excited and relieved and also a sense of achievement at the same time . To be frank, it's no easy job for me to write such a program, even if it's so tiny and simple, for it has been such a long period of time since I last used Visual Basic 6.0 to make a program. Nearly green to it, I read over a lot of materials, including my previous works. Actually, I even copied some of the codes from one of my previous programs. Wasn't it an efficient and effective way? Haha.. Continuously encountering technical problems and bugs, I was almost driven to mad. But during the process of thinking out and trying out different solutions, I eventually made it. Although much time and energy was put into, I think it's worthwhile, as long as my friend loved my program.
If you're interested, please write me (mailto:koala.choi@gmail.com) and I would love to share it with you:)

3.17

Thank God! All subjects are passed. Better than expected, but still too low. I know what I should do.

Before It's Too Late

Do everything before it's too late.

A Strange Dream

I was on a METRO, bending my head over the unfinished assignments, completely at a loss what to do, anxious and worried.
Such a strange dream. Did it tend to indicate something? I think so. That is: Before It's Too Late.

Direction

Which direction am I going in? I don't know. This is the 4th day of my winter holidays, but my holiday life is still in a mess. What's wrong? I still remember that night when I became determined to be more committed and work harder to realize my dream. But.. have I taken any measures? Absolutely NOT!
Actions speak louder than words. I'll soon find the right direction.

A Nice Afternoon

The sunshine makes me warm.
The breeze makes me comfortable.
We haven't chatted for long.
We haven't met for ages.
Everything is changing.
Friendship remains unchanged.
Such a nice afternoon!
Who won't enjoy it?

I know what I really want.

The winter holidays have already come.
I know what I really want.

1st Day Of Jogging

Hi, friends! I'm back! Long time no see!
To be frank, I'm completely dissatisfied with my final examination, especially with my mathematics. I was depressed and frustrated for quite a long time, worrying about my bleak future and everything. Since my parents did not pose a big pressure on me, I was a little bit relieved. And now I'm being OK. The reasons for my failure are quite complicated, but Mr. Neurasthenic may still be the biggest suspect. This is not the first time that I have mentioned the word "neurasthenic". Actually, I've been suffering from Mr. Neurasthenic for quite a long period of time. Perhaps there's only one person in the world who can truly feel my pains, but I don't care.
To get rid of Mr. Neurasthenic, I started jogging this morning. I had not run for long, so it's really painful for me to continue. But I had to continue. I had to hold the middle. Although I only ran for about 20 minutes, I created a good start, didn't I? My head was reeling, but I didn't care. I know for sure that if I want to recover myself, I have to suffer the pains. No pains, no gains, right?
Tomorrow I'll continue the process, though I know it's being harder and harder...

Being absent for a long time

As the final examination is approaching, I have to spend more time and energy preparing myself for it. So, from this moment on, my blog will not be updated until the exam is over.
Thank you for your attention.

Taking Control Of Our Own Emotions

There is no denying that our emotions play a vital role in our road to success. So learning to take control of our own emotions is very essential.
As one of my previous essays indicated, I was severely attacked by Mr. Depression. But things began to change when one of my friends came to me for a walk. We walked a long way, confiding to each other and both playing the role of a listener. Soon another one of my friends came and we kept confiding and sharing. And.. in the end, what happened? For my friend, his problem was successfully solved. For me, Mr. Depression went away unconsciously.
As you may note, I've been using the word "confide" in my essays and I'm just too excited to share with everyone the technique to take control of our own emotions. The technique I referred to is no other than CONFIDING. It's such a powerful tool that if it is used properly, almost all problems can be solved. It's just where the value of true friendship lies in. A true friend is willing to listen to you confiding while a faked one may not. Again, find one to confide to if necessary. DO NOT shoulder all the pressure, burdens and frustrations yourself. Try sharing them with your best friends and soon you'll get the same result as me!
And.. that's why I'm so excited now because I've found the true friendship I've been looking for!

Gratified to have a friend like you.

Thank you, God! I'm so grateful that you have granted me two intimate friends whom I will treasure in my whole lifetime.
There's no doubt that you two are my real soul mates. We share lots of common language, common topics and common interests. That's really amazing! Whenever I have sorrows, you are always there ready for me, willing to be my listener and listen to me confiding. Whenever you have funny stories, you just can't wait sharing with me the joys and funs, making me happy and delighted. I'm really thankful. I'm just too relieved and gratified to have a friend like you!
A friend in need is a friend indeed. My experiences have proved it.

It seems that...

It seems that my life is going towards a wrong direction. I used to be happy, but now I am not. I used to be optimistic, but now I am not. I used to be ambitious, but now I am not.
What's wrong? I don't know. Maybe something unknown is gradually approaching and destroying me. I hate the feeling of being depressed and frustrated, but I'm too weak to conquer it. It seems that I've been severely attacked by Mr. Depression, though I'm not willing to admit. An hour ago, I was jogging on the playground. But unlike the many times when I felt completely relaxed, excited, delighted and rejuvenated after a 20-minute jog, this time I couldn't find any of the good feelings. I didn't know where they had gone. I was disappointed and defeated.
Maybe this is the most terrible period of time in my whole lifetime. I believe that if I can go through it, my life will still be full of sunshine!

A Big Surprise

It's beyond my wildest imagination! I couldn't believe my eyes. Was I dreaming? I saw the small candles burning, I saw the happy guys laughing, and I saw a big, lovely cake in front of me! Everything's true! It's such a big surprise!
We sang the "Happy Birthday" song; we shared the tasty cake; we played childhood games; we ate; we drank... everyone was having a good time. Lying on the grass, watching the stars in the sky, everyone was lost.
Thank you, Chanel! Thank you, my friends! I feel so lucky and honored to be your friend that I almost can't speak out a single word to express my gratitude. May all of you be happy and healthy every day from this moment on!

Find one to confide to if necessary.

Moments ago, I was in low spirits. Too many things happened and they almost drove me crazy! But after confiding to one of my best friends, I'm feeling much better now!
We chatted for more than 1 hour and when the chat was over, I could not find any minute traces of the previous negative feelings. Where were they? Actually, they were totally out of my body! They did not belong to me any longer! It's so cool and exciting! And.. as you can guess, I'm again in high spirits now!
So, whenever you need to confide, find one to. It'll do great harm to your mental health if you accumulate too much negative emotions in your body!

Yes, you are my bosom friend!

Yes, you are my bosom friend!
We share so much interests;
We share so much thoughts;
We share so much experiences.
You listen to me talking;
You listen to me confiding;
You listen to me complaining.
You give me the courage;
You give me the confidence;
You give me the driving force.
To be your friend, I'm so lucky;
To be your friend, I'm so happy;
To be your friend, I'm so grateful.
Yes, you are my bosom friend!

Caught By Mr. Cold

Yes, it's true. This time, I was caught by Mr. Cold.
Several days ago, I was still proud of myself. Many of us had caught a cold, but I was not included. But now, I have to admit that even though I've been having a cold bath, there's still some possibility that I might be one of the victims of Mr. Cold.
But, that does not mean I will stop having a cold bath. Actually, I will continue the process! As you know, having a cold bath, especially in winters, does good to our body, doesn't it?

Sharing: Do It Now!

This is one of my favorite. It always gives me a lot of power and thoughts. And now I would like to share with you this excellent article. Hope it will help you in some aspects.
Check it out via clicking the following link provided that you're interested:
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles/do-it-now.htm

Welcome To My New Blog!

Hi, everyone!
Welcome to my new blog: http://koala1202.blogspot.com/!
In this blog, I would like to share with you my ideas, thoughts, feelings, experiences, interests and so forth. Hope you'll enjoy your time here!
Any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me.
mailto:koala.choi@gmail.com
Best regards,
Koala Choi